It’s late, and you’re scrolling through Facebook when something catches your eye.
“Anyone else dating this guy? 🚩” The photo is a screenshot from Tinder. It’s posted in a group called “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” The comments quickly poured in. None of them are familiar, but they still join the conversation.
These groups are everywhere now. They started as a way for women to warn each other, to compare notes and avoid getting played. But they’ve taken on a life of their own. What started as a place for dating support can quickly feel like a courtroom with no judge.
And if your photo shows up in one of these posts, it can feel like the whole internet is staring.
Rules for Joining & Posting in These Groups
These groups are supposed to follow the rules. Don’t use last names. No personal info. First names only and a brief “has anyone else seen this guy?” type of post. Moderators approve posts before they go live, but that doesn’t mean they verify facts.
Once it’s up, it spreads fast. Comments start coming in, stories get added, and sometimes things spiral. Maybe someone’s venting. Maybe they’re wrong. Maybe they’re just angry. Whatever the reason, your reputation is now up for debate in a group full of strangers.
Even if none of it’s true, damage can happen fast. Your name gets linked to accusations, and people outside the group can find out. Screenshots make it out of the group. People talk.
What to Do If You Are Posted to an “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Group on Facebook
If your name or photo ends up in one of these posts, it’s easy to panic. Don’t.
Start by saving everything. Take screenshots of the post, the comments, even reactions. (Ok to break the rules) Facebook might take it down later, but you’ll want proof of what was said.
Next, report it. Facebook does take action when posts violate privacy or community rules. It won’t always be immediate, but it’s part of the process.
And don’t respond. You may want to defend yourself or clarify things, but arguing in the comments often makes the situation worse. These posts live on drama. Don’t feed it.
If it feels like it’s getting out of hand, talk to someone who can help. Our team at NewReputation works with individuals in similar situations every day. We’ve also written about how to deal with online defamation and what to do if your ex is trying to ruin your reputation.
It’s Not Just About Facebook
These posts can go far beyond the group. Sometimes, they appear in Google search results. At other times, they are shared in screenshots or group chats. You might not even know it’s happening until a friend tells you.
That’s why it helps to monitor what’s being said about you online. The sooner you know, the easier it is to deal with.
It’s also a good time to clean up your social media. Make sure your settings are private. Lock down old posts. And if you’re not sure what’s showing up in your search results, now’s the time to check.
You can also read more about social media privacy risks and how to protect your info.
Final Thoughts
It’s strange living in a time where someone can post a photo of you and ask for opinions from strangers. But that’s where we are.
If it happens to you, don’t freeze. Don’t fight back in the comments. Just stay calm, keep the receipts, and take the right steps. You can get your reputation back.
And if you need help, we’re here to assist.
