What to Do if You're Posted on "Are We Dating the Same Guy?"

3 min read
Dec 1, 2023 10:41:28 AM

Facebook has become a breeding ground for various communities, some harmless and others potentially troublesome. One such group that has gained attention is the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" phenomenon.

Initially created to help individuals uncover potential relationship overlaps, these groups have sparked debates on privacy, ethics, and online behavior. In this article, we explore the rise of these groups, the rules governing them, and most importantly, what steps to take if you find yourself unwittingly thrust into the chaos.

The Landscape of Online Dating

The rise of online dating platforms has reshaped the landscape of modern romance. According to a 2018 study, 18 to 25 percent of Tinder users were already committed to relationships while actively using the app.

Another study found that approximately 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their partners online. As these numbers indicate, the digital world plays a significant role in connecting individuals. Still, it also opens the door to unforeseen challenges.

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Rules for Joining & Posting in These Groups

Before delving into the potential pitfalls of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" groups, it's essential to understand the rules governing these communities.

Typically found on Facebook, these groups have strict guidelines emphasizing the importance of anonymity.

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Personal details like addresses are strictly off-limits, and only first names and photos are allowed in posts. Additionally, each post must undergo moderation before appearing on the group's front page.

Why "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Groups May Be Problematic

While these groups aim to provide a safe space for individuals with shared experiences, they harbor the potential for significant harm. Anonymous claims made within the confines of these groups have the power to dismantle lives, often without any concrete evidence.

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The groups, in essence, become a legal time bomb, as rules against sharing screenshots or discussing specifics are routinely ignored. When members see their friends or family members under attack, the temptation to reveal more details becomes irresistible.

What to Do If You Are Posted to an "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Group on Facebook

Finding yourself the subject of a post in one of these groups can be distressing, but taking swift and measured action is crucial. Here are steps to guide you through the process:

1. Determine if You Have an Actionable Claim

Before taking action, assess whether the post meets the criteria for defamation. To have an actionable claim, the statement must be false, communicated to a third party, made with at least a negligent level of intent, and demonstrably harmful to you.

2. Preserve Evidence of the Post & Related Comments

Once you've identified a potentially defamatory post, take screenshots as evidence. Capture the original post and any comments or interactions that may exacerbate the situation. This evidence could be crucial if legal action becomes necessary.

3. Do Not Engage Further With the Poster

Resist the urge to engage in arguments or discussions within the group. Engaging with the poster may escalate the situation and further damage your reputation. Instead, focus on documenting the evidence and preparing for the next steps.

4. Report the Post or Profile for Platform Terms of Service Violations

Social media platforms have strict guidelines regarding harassment and defamation. Report the post and the user to the platform, outlining how the content violates their terms of service. Platforms often take swift action in such cases.

5. Contact NewReputation for Expert Online Reputation Management

If the situation escalates and you find it challenging to navigate independently, seeking professional help is wise. NewReputation specializes in online reputation management and can provide the expertise needed to mitigate the damage caused by false accusations.


While online dating has brought people together unprecedentedly, it has given rise to unforeseen challenges. The emergence of groups like "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" highlights the potential for harm on the internet. By following these steps, individuals can take control of their online reputation and mitigate the impact of baseless accusations. Remember, in the face of adversity, a strategic and measured response is the key to preserving your digital reputation.

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